My Only Goal
If you've seen this message before, consider it a gentle reminder: My aim with this site is purely to share hope and encouragement, without any commercial interest.
Prologue...
What follows was initially penned as a letter to a close friend who was struggling with alcohol; I offered my unwavering support and availability, emphasizing that the solution must stem from within. How might I know that? Because at the age of 44, I transformed my life from the depths of hell through a challenging road to recovery. I emerged on the other side, free from the grasp of alcohol, to a rather extraordinary life.
As time passed, I encountered several individuals, including close friends, grappling with alcohol's destructive consequences. Some have soldiered on, day after day, seemingly unaffected; some faced rehab, while two others, sadly, succumbed to this affliction. If you or someone you know treads a similar path, I hope my words resonate and provide solace. No matter how bleak the future might look, know that there is a way forward, free from the despair of addiction. I, too, have navigated the journey from destruction to recovery and fulfillment. Remember, we are perpetually evolving, and each day offers a fresh start. Above all...don't ever lose hope.
No illusions, the road to recovery is hard as hell.
And, worth every step.
Your road awaits you...
Go find it.
Go. Make. It. Happen.
There is hope.
I did this.
You can do it too.
Dear Friend,
I have been in your shoes. I know the path forward looks impossible. Trust me, it's not. But, it's a path that you'll have to walk by yourself. You can get help - and Lord, I hope you do- but it's still a path that YOU have to walk.
That said, I am here for you 24/7 should you ever want a friend to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a soulmate to buy you a cup of coffee or a meal, or just someone to hang out with for a while. I promise that if you call me, anytime day or night, I will answer within a couple of rings. I can't stress that enough - I am here for you - and always will be.
I only started to walk the path towards total sobriety after I’d lost my wife and our children. And, the world should have lost me, too - on several occasions. It’s truly a miracle that I’m still alive.
I encourage you to start the trek now, while you still have your husband's love and support. Doing so now will not make it any easier, but the payoff is so rewarding - for both of you.
Regardless, it's still your journey. Deep down, you know that.
No judging...
Please take a few minutes to read this. I am not here to judge you; I give you my word that I won't. Judging is for people who have not walked in our shoes. For the people who have been down this path, we know better than to judge.
I know - you're probably thinking: "No way. You think you know what I'm going through - but there's no way you really do. Nobody really knows."
Trust me....I know. Give me a few minutes and you'll know I've walked in your shoes. And, right now, the only thing I want is for you to walk in mine.
You can do it. I believe in you.
Been there - done that...
I'm telling you, I've been there. I don’t hide where I’ve been, and I’ll talk to anyone who asks me about it. Yet, it’s not something I advertise. I'd venture to say that most people who've been down a road of addiction and managed to walk away sober don't talk about it unless someone else brings it up. Unfortunate, yes, but that's the way it is.
Looking back on my twenties, I now recognize signs that an issue was looming. But, I wasn't concerned back then - everyone drank. And, I certainly didn't think I indulged more than my friends did. One by one, we got married, started families, curtailed our drinking. It was all normal.
For many years, I was what one would call a functioning alcoholic. I held a great job with a Big 5 accounting firm (on the consulting side of the business), had a good marriage, was an involved parent, and had a couple of drinks almost every night.
Things went south very quickly, though, after my entire department was dissolved and we all lost our jobs overnight. None of us saw it coming, and I certainly wasn't prepared for it. I spent months looking for a new career -and eventually spent months just looking for a "job." Any job. As our savings dwindled and my wife's support justifiably withered, I would have been happy to have scored a job working at our local grocery store or stocking shelves at Home Depot. For what I was really good at, jobs were scarce to non-existent - for more menial tasks, I was way overqualified. Life sucked - and I found myself drinking more and more to cope.
The Early Years